The Unsettling Double Standards of Vintage Beauty Ads

There’s a special joy that comes when pining through media of past. Whether it’s watching old shows on TV Land or flipping through vintage magazines, it’s always fascinating taking note on how everything from the fashion to the language used in media differentiate from today.

But every now and then you come across some problematic stuff. Like really  deeply problematic. Here’s few beauty ads that make us chuckle with discomfort and also grateful for the fact that many of these brands no longer exist.


Apparently feminine odor isn’t a individual “problem,” but it actually affects everyone around you. Thanks Norforms! Fun fact these folks still exist and sell them as deodorant suppositories. Up yours guys!

WScreen Shot 2017-03-07 at 1.36.21 PMe’re not what’s worse here – the usage of “milk-white hands” or the word “elfin” being used as a compliment. Either way we’ve got a grab bag of racism, colonialism, and straight up bizarre expectations about what makes a woman and no matter who you are you’ve got to worry about your hands.

No rough dark unmanicured hands ladies. That might give men the wrong impression about you. 





WarnScreen Shot 2017-03-07 at 1.41.21 PMer’s believed that women shouldn’t make a “big production” out of their bodies. We can’t help but wonder if their heads would explode if they saw the popularity of waist trainers today. Because Kim Kardashian has definitely made them a big deal and a big production (and power to her if that’s her choice, you do you Kim!)

But unpacking this ad takes a lot. One, if you are a woman and have a shape (pear, apple, or otherwise) then guess what that’s a shape for a woman !

Two, we are ignoring the whole girl thing because yeah condescension through infantilizing terms, yeah yeah we get it.  

Three, the bra is called the Little Fibber. Because you can’t have this shape because that wouldn’t be nice at all but we don’t really want to KNOW that you are changing your shape for a sexual standard set by someone else so you better lie about. 


Screen Shot 2017-03-07 at 1.52.39 PMLet’s start with a warning here. Please guys don’t touch women’s hair unless we give you permission. This goes double for everyone (this includes other women) that wants to touch a black woman’s hair.

Now that out of the way, if you WANT your hair touched well umm , “Well it’s been while – wait what?” then PolyGlow is just for you!

But don’t worry, the glow is inner so no one can tell because if someone can tell you pt effort into your hair then well men aren’t going to like that one bit. We just can’t win here now can we?


Screen Shot 2017-03-07 at 1.56.36 PMThis ad from Love Baby Soft might take the cake in weird sexist stuff from the 70s. Because nothing is quite so much fun as playing “Madonna Whore” with our cosmetics. Lollipop at the lips, hand on that nice white skirt positioned just so and oh sorry what were you saying about innocence? If she was a virgin you’d be concerned, if she was a slut that’d be worse. Come on men make up your damn minds about what we are and are not supposed to do. 

There’s even an uncomfortable TV spot to match. And let’s not even get into the shape of the bottle…. I mean yeah none of this is sexier than you think. 

Self Care On A Budget

Like we said before, we’re all about self-care. It’s crucial to our emotional, physical and overall mental health and shouldn’t be seen as a self-indulgent. It can be a radical act to take care of yourself FIRST. 

But at times self-care can be equated with “treating yo self.” And by “treating yo self” we mean leaving a dent in your wallet. And our wallets are already less full than our male peers. So here are some ways to enter self-care bliss without looking at your bank account in tears.

Tune into a podcast

The best thing about podcasts is that there’s one for just about everything you could think of. The second best thing is that the vast majority are free. For a good laugh at pop culture try the “The Read” or “Ana Faris is Unqualified“. If you’re looking to step away from reality try “The Orbiting Human Circus” or “Welcome to the Night Vale.” Or if you want to feel giddy and nostalgic at the sound of the original Oprah Winfrey Show theme music give “Making Oprah” a listen.


Tune out and meditate

Meditation can be tricky if you’re new to it, but there are some very real perks to making it a regular practice. There are a number of great apps like Headspace and Sattva that help you on your way to finding some peace of mind.


Take a donation based yoga class

Yoga can sometimes be seen as a sort of luxury fitness, but it’s probably one of the most accessible and touts a variety of emotional and physical benefits. Places like Bikram Yoga or Yoga to the People accept regular donations as low as $10. Even modish spots like Sky Ting Yoga in New York offer weekly donation classes.


Make a compliments journal

Okay, try not to laugh at this one but just think about gratitude journals. Now just replace “gratitude” with “compliments.” Write little compliments to yourself as you see fit and reference back to them when needed.


Reorganize and reset your space

You don’t necessarily have to get all Marie Kondo with this one, but simple steps like lighting a few of your preferred scented candles or refreshing your sheets can make all the difference.

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